Even my anxieties are anxious

Hi everybody,
I’ve decided to take advantage of my free time, the few I have, to tell you how things are going at -25 days before the departure date.
Why so little time off? Well most of my time is gone because I work full time Monday to Friday, plus every day I spend 1,30h on public transportation. As a result I only have my weekends and many of them are already full!
My mood is very variable (just like these days’ weather ehehe) because there days in which I get really anxious and days in which I barley think I am about to leave soon. I don’t have anything I am afraid of, actually I am really happy, I only have, fittingly I think, some things that worries me a little.gufo-disegnato,-la-fatica,-allarme,-caffe,-gufo-marrone-161655
The first anxiety comes from work. I’ve spent my last three weeks thinking of what I’m going to say the day I’m going to fire myself (3rd of June). I’ve studied many different versions more or less truthful and I decided that I’m going to tell them something closer to the truth so I don’t get stuck in case they ask me questions I haven’t think about.

My other anxieties (other than the ones we talked in the pre-departure fears’ post) referrer to my first days with the new family. Since I’m a person very introverted I’m afraid to give them a wrong first impression without saying a word other than ah ok! Nice! The relationship with my host family is always great and from what I understand they are very talkative, so I hope they are going to talk with me as well! XD Sometimes I panic when I think that maybe during dinner no one is going to say a word!Anxiety_575bf3_4651110

Another headache I’ve been thinking about for months is my car. I have thought at many different solutions, but I haven’t made a decision yet.

To end, I’m stressed by the last few things I have to do.
Since I like to be prepared in advance I almost packed my entire big luggage and thanks to a big stroke of luck, I’ve got my dollars from an old woman I go see time to time, so I avoided the entire bank process! However I still have to take care of:

  • My international driving license
  • Change iphone
  • Print my pre-departure project
  • End organizing my Farewell party
  • Go to the hairdresser one last time
  • Ask the doctor all the prescriptions and buy drugs/contact lenses
  • Do the tattoo my friends got me for my birthday/departure
  • Buy the welcome gift for my host family

OMG, writing this post made me anxious again!! XD

I’m going to end this post by telling you a curious consequence that stress has on me since the last few weeks.
As you probably know, I’m obsessed with cuisine, good food and eating healthy. However, even if my host family is perfect under this point of view, I can’t stop wondering if and what I’m going to eat there.foto (1)
So I spent my last two weeks eating and tasting everything like I’m not going to have it ever again.
To give you an example, Sunday I went to a typical local restaurant with my parents (we go to the restaurant once a year) and with the occasion we “celebrated” my last lunch in a restaurant. I ate every possible thing and every time I was getting a second serving I was thinking it would have been the last time. In fact I had a salame overdose because I love it. At a certain point my mom told me: you are not going to die there since every time you eat something you say “it is my last time”
I know I’m not going to die, but I can’t help it! I love food and I’m going to miss it a lot.

Your au pair
Susa

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